is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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