is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize