THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize