having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
