i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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