it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
