that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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