Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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