pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress