I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."