...so i touched it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture