Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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