My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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