We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize