How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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