Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize