The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize