Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
