also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
