Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
