i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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