Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
