If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
