you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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