I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
