We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
