Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
