I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
