The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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