people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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