I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
