I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How does it feel to date your dad?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
