guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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