Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
