did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
