I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
