We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
