there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
