He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
