Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize