Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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