Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
