i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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