im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize