I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
