"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
