Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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