She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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