Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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