Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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