its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
