I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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