she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
