I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
