just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
