We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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