So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
