where does the pee come out of this thing
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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