I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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