Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
