I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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