Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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