Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
