I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
