3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
