I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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