I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
