Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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