I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
