Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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