problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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