Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
