and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When are your genitals available?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
