Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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